Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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