just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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