where am i from again
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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