Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sext me about skeletons
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
