did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
