i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
