I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
