I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
