i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
