If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Acid is not a monday night drug
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
