i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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