You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
