Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
