i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
