SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
