I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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