we're blogging at a bar
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
