Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
