I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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