he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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