ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
