Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
