so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
