I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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