dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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