Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
