just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
