is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
