I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's shark week go big or go home
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
