A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
