why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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