Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
