When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
