He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize