LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
