seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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