i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
