don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
