I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
