you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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