our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
