bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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