I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
