And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
