he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
