Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think your dad took our porno
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
