The maid of honor just puked.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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