You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
