please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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