guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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