The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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